The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize