do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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