having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize