i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
