And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
