whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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