conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
