Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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