I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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