the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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