Duck Duck Cougar?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
