my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Randomize
