Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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