there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
