I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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