I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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