I hope mine doesn't look like that
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
