dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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