I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
