when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize