Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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