I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
