It's like God shit irony all over that family
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
