I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slut skills are useful in every country.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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