Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
