I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
