Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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