Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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