I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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