we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
this just has baby written all over it
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
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I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
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we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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