Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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