Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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