i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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