She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
