that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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