so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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