just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
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Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
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Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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