What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
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