Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Can you bring me the toilet please
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
is it fun? or sober?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
