She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize