3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
