I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
My ass is underappreciated
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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