Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
The power of my boobs compel you
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
