In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
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