we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I FOUND THE LEGS
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
