Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
