Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
