..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize