Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
