i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
