i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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