Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?