so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
yea but for you.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party