That's when you crack a 10am beer
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
