Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize