I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
