Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.