**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice