she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.