Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
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Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
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Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
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