dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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